she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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