her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
