I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
