I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
