I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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