so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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