All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize