20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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