Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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