I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
