I didn't shave. On purpose
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
