shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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