I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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