Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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