well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
