hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
