how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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