considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
