jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
