apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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