Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
