i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
