HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
where am i from again
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
