If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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