im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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