Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
