wrigley field is MILF paradise
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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