I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
