Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
why didn't you poke me back
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
