You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So squirting runs in the family.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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