Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
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I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
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I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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