we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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