We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's blow job season.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
