She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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