The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
