Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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