11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
