Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
