The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
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I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
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Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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