We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
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