i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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