He is such a slut. More and more my type.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
