I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
