marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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