You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
