Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
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ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
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She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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