3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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