O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
