Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
