this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
