dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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