So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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