i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
