so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
