I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
