i just wanna soil my oats bro
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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