There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
