im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
