I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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