i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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