For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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