i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
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If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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