I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Small penises have feelings too.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
