What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
