apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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