God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
please don't ironically join a cult
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