question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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