maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
