She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Come on in and take your pants off
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