I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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