brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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